Scars

My eyes are glazed,
Insides screaming for reasons
I can't find.

I look within and start to burn
My hatred turning awry for
I don't understand.

Anger turns to sorrow
And still here I am
Lost, in confusion....

I sneak into my corner
A sane place in the
Crook of my mind.

I can't escape
Tortures of a mind
Not bound to rest...

Reality

I never expected life could get so hard.

Does that line of thinking come from a pampered, spoiled-brat, princess?

I think so.

How could i have gone to having everything to....nothing. And the funny thing is...this "nothing" that I have IS something.

Do I just don't get it?

Why can't I branch out of my shell?

Is it the fault of the people around me? Or maybe I'm just too stubborn to accept the changes in my life that I just can't seem to move on.

How easy it is to think that i can puff all my worries with one stick of a cigarette. Pollute my lungs and cloud my mind into thinking I have no problem and that everything's okay.

But everything IS okay!

Am I just a perennial worrywart?! A confused, independent, smoker trying to get heads and tails out of life.

How come I can't get satisfaction even when it's staring at me in the face?

I don't get it.

By thinking this I start going crazy and start fusing things in my life to get what I think I want.

But I can't get what I want.

No matter how hard I try everything isn't served to me. I start realizing I'm not a princess. And that I'm just someone trying to get a hold of reality.

Expectations

Sometimes I think, I "think" too much...I have sooo many thoughts swimming in my head that sometimes I need to take a breather and sort them out.

Have you ever had that feeling that you have so many things to look forward to? And that you always expect the best but then...it could always turn out to be a rut.

I had these high expectations before. I readied myself for the time of my life, only to realize six months later that I'm miserable. And I want out.

It's funny how I crave for the simplest things in life nowadays. Like love...friendship and companionship.

I never would've thought life could take such sudden turns and that what you sometimes dreamed of having could always be just in your head.