What Could've Been

Its 3:20 p.m. and am sitting here (again) in my office waiting for the clock to tick to four...why does the clockhand seem to stop everytime i look at it?!?!

As i wait for my weekend to start, i start thinking about what would i be doing if i were still in the Philippines. Probaby on a Friday like this I would be going out to IC's with friends and drinking all my stress away, smoking Winston Lights and having a blast with my girlfriends. I'd probably be cruising around in my Mitsubishi and go home well past midnight.

Then I'd go back to my big fluffy bed. And curl under the covers without changing my clothes.

Then I'd wake up to a glorious Saturday...turn on my TV, pop in a DVD and just watch movies till noon. Then probably I'd get a call from one of my friends who wants to hang out. Then I'll shower and then i'll throw on a shirt and some shorts...get into my Birkenstocks and be outta the door in ten minutes.

We'd probably be meeting up in Vega Center in front of McDonalds and just stay there and think of some stuff to do. Or maybe just talk and talk and talk...

What could've been if i didn't leave my home?

I guess I wouldn't feel "loneliness" the way I know it now. and i guess i wouldn't know the true meaning "independence" if i didn't leave home.

Standing on my own two feet now makes me feel that I've definitely moved on. I moved on with life and left what once was my life. I learned that I can't ask for everything and that sometimes you really have to work hard for stuff that you want. Only to realize that when you finally have your hard earned money in your hands...it's difficult to let go.

I guess I'm just learning how to grow up. And i can't waste time pondering things that can never happen. It's done. It's finished. I've moved on.

But sometimes you can't help wondering...what could've been?